As the sun gently wakes to signal a new dawn, the sudden warmth awakes the birds, their singing breaks the still silence and flows across the lush green fields brimming with cows lazily grazing the dew sodden grass.
A gentle humming noise bursts into life, the person responsible for this noise is pushing a lawn mower accross the first green at Five Lakes as work starts in earnest to prepare the course for the eagerly awaited Langley Open. The courses have been closed now to the public in order to ensure they are in perfect condition, such is the pride felt at the club after being chosen to host the tournament once again.
It promises to be a real tension filled edge of the seat battle this year yet again, Vern eyeing back to back victories by claiming his third title, whilst Andy will be desperate to beat him to this exclusive club of three wins.
Andrew was caught on the way into a driving range for a practice session and just had time for a few comments;
'Practice, practice morning noon and night, is this what my life has come down to? The biggest weekend of the year...only one month away.
Harris...what's he up to? New clubs, re building his swing- can't sleep, worrying about him toooo much, I am tired. And Lacey...my god he was good last year, heard he's got a new putter, heard its going great, sinking everything, but rumour has it he's turned to drugs....will he be ok? Ross, he's so confident he's going on holiday for 3 weeks!!! No need to practice...oh need more sleep...
Practice, practice must practice more, no time for sleep.....'.
And that was it, he was off muttering to himself. Will he have the mental strength to perform over three days? Time will tell but his betting odds certainly suggest he may do.
Vern chose to use a press conference to express his thoughts;
'As the days tick by, the excitement is getting close to unbearable. I feel like a seven year old child who has been told they are going to Disneyland. I just can't wait. I haven't slept properly since the Langley Open has been booked!
I feel like a new man since being prescribed Morphine patches, and since being on Morphine patches I am undefeated. I have never lost a round of golf. Period.
My confidence has never been so high. I am already visualising the L.O. Cup on my mantle-piece for the third year, and look forward to retaining it indefinitely.
I urge my competitors to ensure that they are emotionally stable. Prepare for the significant low that you will be experiencing during the evening of the 1st Sunday in September.
I have spent the last 8 weeks preparing my body to be in the best physical condition. Now that I weigh 8 stone and am in the peak of physical fitness there is nothing standing in my way.
My belly putter has enabled me to overcome the final hurdle to accomplishing single-figure handicap scores. The only thing standing in my way is 15 pints of Stella each night of the L.O.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my playing partners for their ongoing love and support over the past year. Unfortunately though, the gloves are now off again for the 2009 Langley Open.
If I consider the competition, in my opinion Rob does not have a hope in hell. He can't hold his drink, or his head when the going gets tough.
Andy will never make it through the weekend without getting injured. Even if he does he will be too tired to perform due to the fact that he will have been up all night checking the fire doors and alarms in the hotel. Rumour is that he's scheduled a test emergency evacuation at 3am on the Friday. There are doubts as to whether this is a safety or a strategic initiative!
I see Neal as my closest rival. He has new bats and has been practising hard. Once again, the only thing that he has in his way is that tight handicap which he hasn't played to for 15 years! There's always hope of a lucky 5 iron out of the water reeds though! He's bought me a box of Pro-V 1x's, but I'm not stupid. I know that he has 'doctored' those balls. I used one the other day and I was only able to hit the ball 350 yards.....what a cheating b*astard - you're supposed to be family man!
Anyway, I am a gentleman and professional enough to forgive and forget all of this shenanigans. I wish all of my competitors well, and look forward to another wonderful few days with my closest friends. Good luck lads, and remember..... Keep Your Head Down!'
Fighting talk with huge confidence from Vern, no-one was brave enough to ask him if he still has nightmares about 5 irons and pitch shots into water from 80 yards from the green, maybe he is using mind games to block such nightmare memories. Meanwhile Neil was caught up with after completing a practice round;
'The tension is building and the days are starting to drag, which can only mean one thing, the 'Langley Open' is on the horizon. A new set of irons and a few tweaks to the swing means my game is currently either sublime or shocking but with 4 weeks still to IRON out the creases who knows what will happen come tee off time BUT it will probably be a similar outcome to City's upcoming season.....ALL THE GEAR AND NO IDEA!!!
I think my money is on the resident 'life long' Charlton supporter or is it Spurs!? I think off the back of his majestic win last year and with his recent investment in a new 'OLD MAN' putter and help from his 'happy patches' his confidence should be high, so providing he can pass a drugs test on the 1ST tee each day he should retain the trophy?
BUT the winner will inevitable be the player with the strongest mind or should I say constitution, the man who can overcome that early morning queasy feeling, wobbly legs and double vision and still manage to put bat to ball!!
Lets hope the sunshine's and the beer flows.'
So with Neil appearing to be obsessed with the 19th hole and completely overlooking his chances of success this year, it was time to catch up with Rob. The proved to be a difficult task, and the only opportunity arose during his transition from his swim in the London Triathlon to his bike ride. As he started to tear his wet suit off he wheezed;
'The Langley Open has lost its sting as far as I'm concerned, this is a true mans sport, love to see Mr 5 Iron swim in the lake for 20 minutes, then we will see what people are made off, I mean it has come to Vern buying cheating belly putters, Andy hasn't been seen off the golf range for the last three months, let see him after a three mile run!!' Rob was now placing his cycle helmet on. 'Meanwhile I have been living my life yeah, I know I don't have a chance in the Langley Open, I haven't held a club for months, but do I care?' He was now running off with his bike as he shouted back 'Of course not, I'm on holiday in France for three weeks now, byeeeeee'
So on the face of it Rob has given up, however rumors are growing that he is actually attending a three week crash course of his golf swing!!
What we can be sure of is another vintage year in the history of the Langley Open.
